E-mail Tag Lines

Never moon a Werewolf…

Never take a Vietnam Vet to fireworks display in the swamp…
Never take a recovering drug addict to a Grateful Dead concert…

And never, ever, stand up while your plane is being hijacked and ask for your Kosher meal.


Before Enlightenment, wash the floor and chop wood.
After Enlightenment, wash the floor and chop wood.

-Zen Koan (I think)


Anyone remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.


There are three types of people in this world: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wondered “What happened?”


“A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts.” – Colette


“A cult is a religion with no political power.” – Tom Wolfe


“Government is that great fictitious entity by which everyone tries to live at the expense of everyone else.”


Here’s to cheating, stealing, fighting and drinking
If you cheat,may you cheat death
If you steal,may steal someone’s heart
If you fight, may you fight for a friend
and If you drink, may you drink with me
May Odin Guide Ya and Fey Welcome Ya
Blessed Be


“Cloning forces us to ask some hard questions.
For example, which person, the original or the clone, gets to wear the goatee and be evil?”


“You are using the time-honored strategy of ignoring my point.”


This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.


“If people listened to themselves more often, they’d talk less.” – Courtois’s Rule


“Democracy is that form of government where everybody gets what the majority deserves.” – Davidson’s Maxim


Btw. that “real life” you mentioned, is it worth downloading?


Reality is for those who are unable to cope with fantasy. Fortunately I have no problems coping.


we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a’ gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer

<—— [insert picture of elvis and nixon shaking hands in the oval office]


“…violence resolves problems that talking can’t solve.”


“C:
C: run
Run : , Run”


People that don’t like us to wear fur and leather, will only harass rich women, because a biker gang would kick their asses!


I used to live life like a possible senate candidate,
but the hookers and heroine got to be too much.


“Because you have the attention span of a goldfish and the level of intelligence inferior to a flabbering moth makes your input on what sucks and what does not about as insignificant as your very own existence.”


‘No trees were killed in the sending of this message.
‘However, a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.


“I am Homer of Borg. You will be assim…ooooohhh, donut!”
“I am Homer of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. Preparation is irrel…MMMmmm…doughnut!”


Entropy isn’t what it used to be…


How do I set a laser printer to stun?

As I get older I find that all the worlds problems come down to one thing. Other people. So knock it off.


When life hands you lemons, lobby Congress to give you the sole right to provide access to lemonade.


Do not seek to imitate the masters. Instead, seek what the masters sought. – old Japanese proverb


Every child wins a prize! (Prizes not suitable for children)


When they took the fourth amendment, I was quiet because I didn’t deal drugs.
When they took the sixth amendment, I was quiet because I was innocent.
When they took the second amendment, I was quiet because I didn’t own a gun.
Now they’ve taken the first amendment, and I can say nothing about it.


Never ascribe to malice, that which can be explained by incompetence